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Tarot Tuesday; Six of Wands (R)

With the Six of Wands reversed, you may find yourself doubting your abilities and your potential for success. You may feel negatively about yourself and as if you have failed both yourself and others. You are lacking confidence, and need the support and recognition of others to pick you up and give you strength again.

The Six of Wands reversed suggests that you may be trying to achieve too many things at once and may not be doing a good job at juggling all of these commitments. It may be best to focus on only a few things and do them well. This will help you feel more inspired and motivated about the activities you do commit to.

This Six of Wands reversed can reflect the transitory nature of success. One moment, you are on top of the world because you have achieved great things but then the expectation has been set that you will continue to perform to this level and when you do not, then you are suddenly knocked down and criticized. While victory and triumph feel great at the time, recognize that it is only temporary and you will have to continue sustaining a high level of performance to be acknowledged.

Biddy Tarot

Okay, Hi. My name is ________ and I have a volunteering problem. (Hi, ________)

Yes, I’m being sarcastic by mimicking the AA introduction. But really, as soon as I drew this card I rolled my eyes. I get it – I do too much, I’m aware. In the past year I’ve joined one fellowship, two local NGO’s as editor and/or membership director, signed up for multiple Saturday shifts at the volunteer run farm, run around town for various other projects…ALL BECAUSE I CAN’T SAY NO.

I’m so bad at this. And I know my partner thinks I’m crazy, he swears that yes I can say “no”, but really it’s very hard for me. Which means I end up volunteering and saying yes to projects beyond my scope. Which, granted, has pushed me outside my comfort zone and helped me to develop skills in order to deliver successful outcomes, which I see as a benefit. Yet, I know that the downside of this is that I simply cannot put all of my time in energy into each thing I say yes to. I’ve either picked up or been thrown too many things to juggle and now I risk dropping everything.

This became more apparent than ever when I became sick last week. My body literally shut down in a way it has not done in a long time; years really, I had to think long and hard about when the last time actually was. I was doing good to move from the bed to the bathroom if that says anything at all. It was awful. Of course, the one thing on my mind was “Damn it, I have too much to do! I can’t be sick! I’m going to get behind!” Which was not really the best way to recover. I needed to rest and not think – two things which have become quite foreign to me.

Thank the Gods for this mysterious illness that wiped me out. I’m not even joking. It was miserable but it put things into perspective. I have been tip-toeing away from some of the things that I’ve committed to. I’m not jumping up when anyone asks for a volunteer. I really want to focus on my writing and my communications work – especially since I’m being called to do that work anyway. I just hate to feel like a failure – I’m good at everything that I do, even when I have to work at it a little more. That’s just who I am. I don’t do mediocre, I don’t do complacent, I don’t do average. My closest co-worker calls me a “quiet storm” and that I’m “ride or die”, which I laugh at, but it is pretty accurate.

This card reminds me that now especially I need to consider what I’m doing outside my 9-5 job. I’ve been juggling a lot and producing less than stellar work as a result. At least I think of it as less than stellar. Sometimes it takes a little critique, a little concern to be voiced, and a little time spent eating oatmeal or rice cakes to really make you take a step back. I know I can produce and deliver great things – but only when I can give them more of my energy.

Categories: Tarot Tuesday

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thereluctantpagan

Writer, Wannabe Artist, Overthinker, List-Maker, Photographer, Chronic Under-Salter

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